Reframing Mid-life Crisis for Millennials

Read this CNA article, "Why the mid-life crisis for millennials looks different in Singapore" a couple of weekends ago . After getting over the fact that I am really growing old, (if the millennials are already experiencing mid-life crisis), I realised that the sentiments shared by the millennials in the article resonate with me because these were the questions I had asked myself when I was in my 30s and these were the same questions I asked myself recently even in my late 40s. But I don't think I've ever felt that I was going through a "mid-life crisis" per se. Either that, or I'm going through "mid-life crisis" all the time. Whatever the case, the article got me thinking that perhaps there is a need to reframe this somewhat negative term:

1. We don't need a "mid-life crisis" to ask questions about meaning and purpose.

It is a good practice to periodically check in with ourselves, to remind ourselves of why we are doing what we are doing, whether our decisions and actions are aligned with our values, and whether we are in a space that allows us to use our strengths. When we are, that's when we are able to experience what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls 'flow'.

2. "Mid-life crisis" is not a "crisis" but an opportunity.

What has been termed a "crisis" can also be reframed as an opportunity to reflect, recalibrate and restart, and to reconnect with our authentic, higher self - the one who is led by purpose, guided by core values and moves in alignment with both (vs the ego self who is driven by the need to perform and guided by the expectations of others, hence the restlessness, a nagging sense that something is missing or that we are never good enough).

3. It doesn't take monumental changes for us to be unstuck 

While the millennials in the article seem to have chosen very drastic alternative paths in search of meaning and purpose, not all of us have the luxury (or courage) to do that, and that's fine. But it doesn’t mean that we have to remain stuck in a life of drudgery. Even if we need to stay in our situation for a little longer, we can still find meaning and purpose in what we are doing or in another role that we play; we still have agency over our situation. And success and meaningfulness need not be mutually exclusive.

The bottom line - if you are feeling restless and wondering if there is more to life than the one that you are living (whether you are a millennial or not), you are not in a crisis; you are at the start of an exciting and transformative journey back to yourself.