Is authenticity simply about "being yourself"?

Reflections about authenticity (like this CNA article) always resonate with me.

Authenticity is a topic that is close to my heart but one that I couldn't articulate very clearly until I started on my journey to become a professional coach. As I coached others and as others coached me, I became clearer about what authenticity looks like and why it matters. It all began with this question - who am I? It is a question that we don’t often ask ourselves because we assume we know how we are, but do we? I didn't. And so I pretty much allowed others to define my identity for me and I didn't know who I really was beneath the expectations, achievements and roles I was playing.

Now that I do, I look to my authentic, higher self for answers and direction, whenever I'm at an inflection point. (And I also seek out my peer coaches to coach me.)

Authenticity gets a mixed response because it has been misunderstood and misused:

• Authenticity is not “just being yourself"

• It is not saying whatever you think

• It is not resisting feedback because “that’s just who I am".

That is impulse, not authenticity.

To me, authenticity is about self-awareness that begins with these 3 key questions:

• What is my purpose in life?

• What are my core values?

• What are my strengths?

When we live and lead in a way that is aligned with all 3 - that's our authentic, higher-self. This is what the best version of us who:

• know why we are doing what we are doing

• lean into our values to respond to situations

• leverage our strengths in meaningful ways

Idealistic? Of course. Because we are  constantly being challenged by the ego-self. So, we end up:

• losing sight of our purpose to simply focus on task

• acting against our values to maintain harmony

• doing work that does not inspire us or drains us

That's when we wonder why we are doing what we are doing and whether there is any meaning in all this madness.

Looking back, I wish I had a coach when I was younger, to help me to discover my purpose, values, strengths and blind spots. I would have made better decisions and taken fewer detours in my life. Yet, the irony is that I am a coach today, and an authenticity coach at that, exactly because of my life experiences. For this reason, I do not wish that my life was different; I wish someone else's life would be, because he/she has a coach to journey with him/her. That is the power of coaching.