Don't Steal Their Struggle

A participant shared this during a coaching workshop that I facilitated for a group of educational leaders last week. 

It reminded me of a story: A boy was observing a caterpillar struggle to push through a tiny hole in the cocoon to become a butterfly. Feeling sorry for the caterpillar, the boy cut the cocoon open to make the hole bigger. The butterfly emerged. But, it would never fly. Turns out, the struggle to break free is a natural process that forces fluid from the butterfly's body into its wings, making it strong enough to fly.  By removing the struggle, the boy denied the butterfly the strength it needed to take flight. 

How often do we do the same as leaders? 

We step in. 

We solve. 

We “help".  

Because that's what good leaders do - so we were taught (and rewarded for). Yet in doing so, we may be taking away the very struggle that is necessary for people to grow. 

When leaders shift towards being capacity-builders, something changes: 

People begin to think more for themselves. 

They take greater ownership. 

They fly. 

This is where coaching plays a powerful role. Coaching invites us to:- listen more than we speak;- ask, rather than tell; and partner with others, instead of directing them. 

For leaders, organisations and HR professionals thinking about building stronger and more resilient teams, this shift matters. 

And this shift, is what differentiates good leaders from transformational ones. The question remains - what will it take for us to make the shift?